~ Our extraordinary married certificate ~

"Alhamdullillah .." , Two sheets of blue sea and white yellowish papers, recently sent by my husband, via email. It's not like any other ordinary paper, which may be easily torn or thrown away to the garbage basket as I wish like any other ordinary paper.. "Well .... it's our marriage certificate, which is officially  issued by the government of Bosnia and accepted internationally.

After couple months before , we had to struggle to get  marriage certificate from the government of Indonesia. It had has been long process , taken a lot of energy, countless patience and must stand in positive way, even though facing the various emotion which is up and down. The feeling of suspicious,mad, feeling weak,weary had has popping over my heart , I still stand with my previous decision tough, how to get those sacred papers in our hand. I don't know, why I choose this way . The question has across-ed  in my mind, sometimes ," Aren't you nut,  why you keep holding on a stranger who you knew only for four days  and then now, wait for him to get the married certificate ?"

Why I had have unmoved while some of my relatives, other friends have  doubtfulness to his capability to legalize internationally married certificate and even one of my close relatives, had advised to give it up and offered some ideas to select the available local guys  here and to think twice about my mother who will be stay alone after my father passed away, how could  you leave your mother thousands miles away from you, who will take care of her when she isnot well ? .
"Well ... almost, for the later reason, I almost gave up .... because of my mother, I won't to continue the battle for achieving the medal which is called married certificate. However,  rather than saying -yes-to give up, my heart had revolted it any times the desire to giving up appears .., The more I want to give up ,the stronger a messages from my late father, kept ringing in my ears.

“Nduk, nek manut sholat istikharohe Bapak hasile, perjuangan dan perdamaian . Kudu berjuang keras disik tapi akhire ketemu perdamaian…” .

( My daughter, based on my istikhara pray , I saw the result is The battle and peacefull. You should work hard to face the battle first ,but then, the peacefull will come to you at the end )

So if I decide to give up before reaching the final, I can guarantee it that, I would be very guilty and off course I would never find the peacefulness in my heart? Moreover,  my nuclear family even has given all-out support to continue to fight for getting the married certificate, so what else am I afraid of ?. And finally, my choice might be a little controversial for others, start up again ...

"What is great of this guy"? The next question began annoying me.. Honestly, It's really hard to explain  with the words, he just an ordinary stranger who is thousands  miles away from Indonesia. Many times, I tried so hard to find a reason, why I decided to hold out waiting for this guy, but still I can't answer it those questions ... seem It's not make sense If I agree to make married certificate with him while we just met only  four days and even nothing special  in my heart when I saw him, just plain ... but do not know why, I feel comfortable however when  nearby him and  I just trust him that he is a nice man! Very naive indeed ... 

But, when I notice his way to treat his both of ill and fragile parents, my  heart had been touched ... and I just decided to communicate with Allah, Yaa Robb .. what should I do to make this little family happy, to make his parents smile again, just say Yaa Robb .. ?. I don't know my heart just cried inside but I tried to cover it with being indifferent in front of him.

There would be  many logical reasons to give up on this guy, but I can not, sorry, I do not know how to explain it properly.. Once again, my heart will be restless when I want to give up, when I decided not to take the marriage certificate from him ...

Maybe it's just a sheet of a marriage certificate paper, which so easily for others to be abused, wasted or removed of its  meaning . 

A lot of people outside there consider that the married certificate  is just a piece of paper whose function had begun to fade ... Something that  makes me sad is, for those who just consider that the married certificate is only a sheet of ordinary paper which is meaningless while thousands people outside there have to wait many years getting the paper or even does not have chance to hold it , for the whole of their life. 

Some bitter experiences we had , the patience of waiting for decades, we must up and down getting through it just make us  learn , to not easily take underestimate the significance of the  married certificate.

How Allah has given us the strength for not giving up to get the sacred paper and to open our heart, that the paper is our contract letter to work together as partner of life , completing a half of deen and to share in mutual relationship in joy and sorrow together here and hereafter, InsaAllah...

The married certificate is a commitment to Allah and for me, as a good reminder that I must take it carefully because my responsibility not for human but Allah.

And I know the reason now, why Allah has  guided me to choose this  simple and ordinary guy, to sign a partnership contract as a life partner in this marriage certificate. Because Allah  knows, that he is really  such a remarkable man who does not easily give up to be my life partner..

Thank you honey, for not giving up on me ... thanks for your courage,commitment  and put trust on me, to work  together in joy and sorrow as your partner of life . It has already written in our married certificate