~ New Year 2013 ~

I don't think today is special day. I love being with my family .

~ My priceless time with my family ~

I am really grateful because ALLAH has blessed us the harmonious family. Me, my younger sister,younger brother, sister in-law and  mother are very close each other , I can feel that our family bounding much more stronger than before, especially after my father passed away.

Sunday Market	Apple and strawberry garden tours
Pudding and fried snack	Various sambal

HTML Tables

R.E.A.D

Talking about  the darkness  just striving me to the bad mood. It seems my brain will transfer me a sign of something negative into my mind. The dark will create black color , sorrow and miserable. I wondering when or why some people in this world just agree that the darkness or black engage  to something negative ? Who is the creator that the black color or the darkness for bad things? I am very curious to know it. I don't know why I just hate with the darkness and black color except for my clothes. 

Yesterday , we were living in the darkness due to the electricity was out. All the house in my block were turn to be dark , to be black. No body  like it including me and it got worst after seeing the water was falling through my leak roof because of the storm rain . I and my mother could not help fixing the problem just complaining and grumbling instead .'The suffering day' or 'The horrible day'  and so many negatives feelings had crammed into my head.

I was sitting on the couch in  my living room where my late father used to sit . No light and only the darkness around me and its atmosphere pushed my brain gave a sign the negative feelings , 'the loneliness ', The feeling of missing my father had came out again, The need of his presence was really strong that I want to be until my heart sored..

Oooo Dear myself...check your lists, please..!

Assallamualaikum Warahmatullah

Meeting with my religion teacher of my Senior High School recently, just remain me about one of his precious lessons that he taught to my class. He asked us to make a table for daily sin's and goodness' lists that we do. His order left us curiosity in our head  , it was like such a silly thing."Please be honest with yourself, I won't protest if you make some sins and goodness; I will not check it, because it's only Allah and you know the truth.", he said. Then, we made a simple table and must filled everyday for a week.

I felt uncomfortable whenever checking my table, well...it was about my sins....Everyday I have sins even though  only appear in my  intention. To be honest, I started wrought-up when I calculated my sins appeared more, than my goodness.

~Praying for Palestine~

Assallamualaikum Warrahmatullah,

"The Believers, in their mutual love, mercy and compassion, are like one body: if one organ complained, the rest of the body develops a fever." [Bukhari & Muslim]

"Praise be to Allah " , for still giving us chance to meet in my personal blog. Two days a go, I was hiatus from writing because of my laziness have tried tempt me. But it just create discomfort in my heart instead. So I decide to start rewriting on this small garden of mine.
To be honest, I am very reluctant if talking about the latest issue which is only repetition like it happened before and just guess at the end will left unsatisfied, suffering, disappointing   in my friend's , Muslim's, me's mind. Yeah, it's about Palestine and Israel.The Hadit above just remain me about our brothers and sisters in Palestine. The part of our another body now are in pain, so I also extremely in pain now...

Two days before Israel and Palestine have announced their armistice and I don't know how many times that moments  happened over and over again. The world has cursed Israel's arrogance and off course all we know, they had killed a lot of innocents people especially children and women. All we know what Israel do is not only against Palestinians but more important is against humanity's right.

~ The key words is....Alhamdullillah 200000X..~

Assallamualaikum Warrahmatullah

Trenggalek,  November,20,2012

 Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Every matter of importance which is not begun with, 'Praise be to Allah' is defective." [Abu Dawud and others]

"Alhamdullillah"... I just want to say many times to Allah SWT,  for still giving me chance to use my hand putting  down some experiences of my life this morning , opening my heart to read some good lessons along with very tragic, miserable and also touched- moments which I got through,today. How many times I forget to say grateful to Allah? how easy to me, saying "Alhamdullillah" but it's only lip service in which is not from my heart ? .

~The small things but it mean a lot~

So whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it,And whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it.(Q.S. 99 : 7-8 )

Today I was touched ,reading a story from a famous Islamic scholar Imam Al Ghazzali(ra). "MasaAllah".... It's really related to Allah's promise in Quran , even the good deed , we've done only an atom's weight, Allah will consider it.

Allah SWT Had Decided for Imam Al-Ghazali (ra) as a great Wali and a great scholar and is a source of knowledge for the generations to come till The Last Day after letting the small fly drank the ink of his pen ,because it was very thirsty and he wait it until quenched its thirst. And another proof that Allah also will reward Jannah to those who are very kind to animal living as the follow hadits ; 

Prophet Muhammad (saw) once told a story to his companions. There was a man who went on a journey and on his way felt very thirsty. He found a well and went down into it and drank water. When he came out of the well he saw a dog that was also very thirsty and was licking the salty ground with his tongue. Thinking that the animal was thirsty like him, he again went down into the well, filled his leather socks with water and gave it to the dog. Allah was so pleased with this action of the man that He granted him Paradise.

~Allah is my only reason! then, my heart will relief ~

Assallamualaikum Warahmatullah,

Volim te u ime Allaha 

Today ,I am extremely exhausted and bored of waiting the documents from my hubby. I supposed to realize , Long Distance Relationship is not easy thing to get through it, even between two countries, need more understanding because you're in the zone of   intercontinental  and multicultural relationship, you must spend extra money to stay in touch and off course, you must take more risks.

Sometimes, my mind filled with negative questions which come from myself such as ; "How if I couldn't survived there?, how if my husband leave me or  hit me ?or how if I couldn't visiting my hometown anymore ? " , How if....bla...bla...bla.. ??? ". Recently , those questions often cross my mind  and I know the evil  is creeping     my blood vessels ,slowly , trying to lead me going to the doubt of the holy wedlock.. 

Do you want to be happy? take a share !

I have shared this note since 3 years ago and I would like to remind myself that everything would changed , there is no eternal thing in this world except Allah. This story I wrote when I was single woman and must facing some complicated issues related to be 30+ single woman. Alhamdullillah, I have overcome d  some tests which have already prepared by Allah  for me. It's not for making a weak person, on the contrary, through the hardship , Allah SWT just want to teach us , how becoming more tough person , better 'mukmin' , and of course to get closer to HIM and from it, I could get some good lessons to find a better future life.

This note based on my real story and would like to share with you, by sharing what you have with others is one of ways to find the truly happiness, whether you are still single or married. Sharing here, could be your skill, dua, knowledge or any simple things, not only from money or materially things.

Recently, I just came from Bosnia and Herzegovina for humanitarian mission. Alhamdullillah , I have been really grateful to this wonderful chance because not everyone have luckiness like me. I must go home after refusing to continue my job’s contract with local NGO’s due to internal problem with the mission of that organization. I could not delay my parent’s request for coming home because they are really need me especially for preparing my younger brother’s wedding , beside that my parents want me to spend more time with them after almost 12 years, living separately .I have already known the risks, if I would stay any longer in my hometown. Well, the neighbors and society in my hometown would be the most challenge in my life. Being jobless in my age at 30 + would be an good object of their question especially for my single status! Yes ! I am still single and have nothing! I used to take some journeys in many rural areas outside of my hometown, and found some new things, did some crazy things without thinking my status! I could be free tobe myself and really enjoy my real life alone. And now, when I coming home, anything totally different, as if I were an alien from in the middle of nowhere. Mostly of my friends and my relatives in my age, already got married and even got 1 , 2 ,3 children.