R.E.A.D

Talking about  the darkness  just striving me to the bad mood. It seems my brain will transfer me a sign of something negative into my mind. The dark will create black color , sorrow and miserable. I wondering when or why some people in this world just agree that the darkness or black engage  to something negative ? Who is the creator that the black color or the darkness for bad things? I am very curious to know it. I don't know why I just hate with the darkness and black color except for my clothes. 

Yesterday , we were living in the darkness due to the electricity was out. All the house in my block were turn to be dark , to be black. No body  like it including me and it got worst after seeing the water was falling through my leak roof because of the storm rain . I and my mother could not help fixing the problem just complaining and grumbling instead .'The suffering day' or 'The horrible day'  and so many negatives feelings had crammed into my head.

I was sitting on the couch in  my living room where my late father used to sit . No light and only the darkness around me and its atmosphere pushed my brain gave a sign the negative feelings , 'the loneliness ', The feeling of missing my father had came out again, The need of his presence was really strong that I want to be until my heart sored..

Eggplant-smoked tuna and Tofu in Coconut Milk( Lodeh Terong, Tongkol dan Tahu )

Eggplant-smoked tuna and tofu in coconut milk

This is one of traditional menus from my grandmother. She used to cook it at the clay crock on wood stove. Sometimes, I really miss the traditional atmosphere when anything run with patience and off course so naturally. This  menu just bring my mind to the atmosphere of my childhood, over past 30 years a go. I don't know, whether I will get it this menu or not for my future. Today I am very lucky, because my mother asked me to help her making this menu again. Since I don't want to loose the recepe, I decide to put it down and record it with my camera step by step how to make it.

Here we prefer using small green eggplant because its taste is little bit bitter but getting fused in our tongue. Well, I think it depend on the taste, if you dislike it, you can use another various of eggplant ( purple eggplant or big green eggplant ). In my hometown, the eggplant is very cheap, it's about $50 sen per one kg. Let's start cooking now...

~ Our extraordinary married certificate ~

"Alhamdullillah .." , Two sheets of blue sea and white yellowish papers, recently sent by my husband, via email. It's not like any other ordinary paper, which may be easily torn or thrown away to the garbage basket as I wish like any other ordinary paper.. "Well .... it's our marriage certificate, which is officially  issued by the government of Bosnia and accepted internationally.

After couple months before , we had to struggle to get  marriage certificate from the government of Indonesia. It had has been long process , taken a lot of energy, countless patience and must stand in positive way, even though facing the various emotion which is up and down. The feeling of suspicious,mad, feeling weak,weary had has popping over my heart , I still stand with my previous decision tough, how to get those sacred papers in our hand. I don't know, why I choose this way . The question has across-ed  in my mind, sometimes ," Aren't you nut,  why you keep holding on a stranger who you knew only for four days  and then now, wait for him to get the married certificate ?"

Why I had have unmoved while some of my relatives, other friends have  doubtfulness to his capability to legalize internationally married certificate and even one of my close relatives, had advised to give it up and offered some ideas to select the available local guys  here and to think twice about my mother who will be stay alone after my father passed away, how could  you leave your mother thousands miles away from you, who will take care of her when she isnot well ? .