A pair of old clogs's story

Trenggalek, October, 17, 2012
A pair of old clogs's story

Her tear was dropping on her cheek again while she put a pair of old clogs on the shoe's rack.It's only a pair of dull clogs which suppose to be thrown away to the rubbish basket ; its sole already filmsy and mostly of its paint peeled of but her heart still attached of something in which is too painful if she stare at the old clogs..

It just remain  about her father who just exactly three months ago passed away, yes... for her , that is not an ordinary old clogs, there were a lot of stories behind in which left a deep wound for her.She remember her father , the owner of  a pair of old clogs. Her mind is wandering back about one deep wish from her father that could not be fulfilled until he left her forever.

Three years a go, before leaving for Padang ( West Sumatera ) , to perform her job, as social worker,  she saw her father was really sad when he started to talk about something serious. her heart was crumbling  into pieces after listening his  deep wishes from her father ; 

" Dear... won't you get married?. Haven't you a candidate ?  what are you waiting for ? 

please.... dear.. I am really want to see your wedding before I die. I don't have much time, because I am getting weak now . Can you please to fulfill my request before I leave you?"  .

She was speechless, no words that she could say through her mouth. But inside of her heart, she was crying so hard and filled with guilty feeling. 

"Yaa Robb...! I had no clue how to answer my father's question, yes ..it sound very simple request, less than 100 words but it meant a lot for me. I just felt like  what I've done is useless !. I thought that to be successful woman in handling good job, having prosperous life experiences and graduated from reputable university was enough for me to make my father happy but it was totally wrong ! " , She said. All what she did the best for their parents seemed blown away with her father's questions. No, this is not like some other people think that she just only focus on carrier and forget about getting married. Even she could not remember how many relationships she had with guys were failed , how many times she should get up after handling her broken heart and how many times her father tried to arrange her with guys but all of them were not working !. " Allah.... am I too ugly for that guys , so they don't want to see me ? ".. She once asked to her Lord desperately. 

Nine months a go , her father had diagnosed by a doctor, skin cancer , her heart was  really complicated because as an oldest daughter, she still can't give anything to her father . " What kind of daughter am I ? ", she said .Finally, she decided to stop working just to take care her father. Once a week, she took her father to the hospital for therapy and sometimes her father asked  her about wedding's preparation. Yes...Alhamdullillah , she just got married's proposal from someone who are thousands miles away from her country , he is Bosanac . After waiting for many years, finally she has met her soul-mate. Her father were excited after getting the good news, he prepared some documents , arrange anything which is required for her daughter's wedding . He ignored about his cancer's cell in his body  trying to attack his immune, slowly. But the test had not  finished yet, the guy delayed to coming because urgently excuses, both of his parents are very fragile and ill , so he hardly leave his parents alone . Her father looked very shocked but he pretended that everything was alright. He called immigration office and asked some questions , how to make new passport , her father just think ,if  something happened out of the plan , no matter what, he has to be a wali ( guardian) for her daughter's wedding,even he should travelling to Bosnia with high risk. But Allah has  another  plan, the doctor said that he got dangerous cancer even though, the cancer already removed with surgery , but it's possible its cells had spread away . Three months after surgery , her father lied down in hospital  and said  he was very tired, could no more fight . Her tears dropping, her heart was really pain but she could not help , she had reflected from some signs since two years ago through her some nightmares , it was like deja vu and she felt her father will gone ..And finally all  she worried about  happened !. Her father passed away at July,17, 2012 . 

Her biggest regret is , she could not fulfill her father's wish , as witness and guardian for her wedding. She realized that how big the responsibility as a father to his children most notably his daughters. He knew very well that he had no time anymore. If only her father could talk to her hubby , he would say , "Dear  my son in law... you are the one who appointed by Allah to take over my duty , so please ...take care her well and take care her deen because you are her leader now who could bring her to Jannah or naar."

This story  dedicated to my late father.... May Allah unite me and my family with him in Jannah... Amiin