I have shared this note since 3 years ago and I would like to remind myself that everything would changed , there is no eternal thing in this world except Allah. This story I wrote when I was single woman and must facing some complicated issues related to be 30+ single woman. Alhamdullillah, I have overcome d some tests which have already prepared by Allah for me. It's not for making a weak person, on the contrary, through the hardship , Allah SWT just want to teach us , how becoming more tough person , better 'mukmin' , and of course to get closer to HIM and from it, I could get some good lessons to find a better future life.
This note based on my real story and would like to share with you, by sharing what you have with others is one of ways to find the truly happiness, whether you are still single or married. Sharing here, could be your skill, dua, knowledge or any simple things, not only from money or materially things.
Recently, I just came from Bosnia and Herzegovina for humanitarian mission. Alhamdullillah , I have been really grateful to this wonderful chance because not everyone have luckiness like me. I must go home after refusing to continue my job’s contract with local NGO’s due to internal problem with the mission of that organization. I could not delay my parent’s request for coming home because they are really need me especially for preparing my younger brother’s wedding , beside that my parents want me to spend more time with them after almost 12 years, living separately .I have already known the risks, if I would stay any longer in my hometown. Well, the neighbors and society in my hometown would be the most challenge in my life. Being jobless in my age at 30 + would be an good object of their question especially for my single status! Yes ! I am still single and have nothing!
I used to take some journeys in many rural areas outside of my hometown, and found some new things, did some crazy things without thinking my status! I could be free tobe myself and really enjoy my real life alone. And now, when I coming home, anything totally different, as if I were an alien from in the middle of nowhere. Mostly of my friends and my relatives in my age, already got married and even got 1 , 2 ,3 children.
At the first month staying in my hometown, I was become antisocial and won’t meet people because I have felt insecure whenever I met them, they used to give an uncreative question such as “ when you will get married”,” what are you waiting for ?”. My condition had got worst, I got depressed, negative thinking, useless and felt guilty! What a complicated mind!.
Luckily, I still have time reading some positive book and surrounded by positive energy from my parents. Through some religious activities like what they have thought to me such as praying together at home, making dua and reading quran after maghrib pray, make me learn how to accept myself gently. Slowly, I could change my mindset and perception about myself from negative side to positive side. “Probably Allah has secret plan which I don’t know yet.”
My mther told me that a small mosque near by house lacking of quran teachers, two of teachers resigned because of having new baby and leaving for college in outside city. There are around 50 children have good enthusiastic learning quran , however they often get disappointed because they can’t learn quran anytime due to lacking of teachers.
I accepted my mother’s offering reluctantly, because I underestimate being quran teacher. “What is great to be quran teacher? “. I tried coming to mosque and seeing around 30 children had waited since 30 minutes a go. They suddenly gave me warm welcome and kissed my hand. Aaaaa what a amazing experience, I felt so strange, but I was happy, satisfied, proud and was very touched with the children have done to me. I am still being needed …! Ooo Allah thanks for showing me the way to find the real happiness. Now, I am really enjoy with my life, by giving my time, heart, sharing what I have with others, just make me to find the real happiness. .. I am really enjoyed seeing the children learning quranic Alphabet, correcting their makhraj and short Surrah and teaching them how to pray five times correctly.
The more I share what I have the happier that I feel. Seeing them get better reading is really finding me the truly happiness. I can learn many things from this! We need to be shared what we have with others, otherwise we could be disappointed, feeling lonely and having negative impact to our body. Sharing just make my life get better! Alhamdullillah...
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