Dear my beloved Mother

I have no idea how to express my feeling to my beloved mother today, because I am very shy! Yes… today is mother’s day in Indonesia (22 December 2010). I wonder why it’s really hard for me expressing my true feeling to my parents. Believe me or not, I gave huge to my parents when they returned from Hajj in 2005. I cried hard when I was hugging them so tight. It was my first time; I missed them so much after I had not seen them for a month. How about now? Well, after that I almost never huge them and prefer hide my true feeling how much I care and love them. Luckily, I am still have chance to kiss their hand after praying together in house. Ironically, it’s not like when I do to my friends, I can huge, kiss and do romantic things easily. Deep inside of my heart, I really know that my parent’s loves are very genuine and can’t compare with other love after Allah, definitely. Ooh Lord, I am feeling very guilty, only You know my complicated feeling right now…. Even today, I can’t huge my mother just wanted to express that I am really love and care about her and can’t say apologize for still cant be her best daughter..

I just realized that today is special day for all mother after seeing an ustadz making dua for all mothers in Indonesia. Subhanallah ! My heart was crying when I listened his dua “ Ooo Allah, please keep blessing our mother from our good deed and please… bless our mother with your best Jannah as what she has done for us , genuinely . Suddenly, I went to the kitchen and saw my mother was very busy with her activities. Like usually, she starts wake up at 2 am for tahajjud pray and then go back to sleep until 4.30am. She prepares anything for her family (my father, me and my sibling) everyday! Without any complain. Yes! She hardly complain and tired for what she does everyday. I came to my mother and said “Happy mother day! “, she just laughing and making a joke “hmm, is this mother’s day? Wow, I supposed to be served and cooked for my special day but I had cooked for myself and my family, now?”. Arrghhh…., Mom… apologize me if I forget your day but more than that, I just realized that I still can’t be the daughter as you wish...Mom… maybe I can’t give warm huge, can’t afford a bunch of flowers, but believe me… Allah will be as witness that my best dua is always flow for you everyday… maybe I am not perfect daughter for you, mom ! but I will do my best for making you happy and smile ! To be honest, I am your secret admirer for your laughing and joke! You are my trully angel and my inspiration for my life mom….

I love you mom, don’t you know… your laugh just make me happy, one of the things that always make miss you everyday… . “Thanks for everything Mom, May Allah will bless you and my father the best jannah “ and please I am begging your dua, May Allah will place us in the same Jannah “ ! Robbighfirli Wali walidaya warhamhuma kama Robbayanii Shaghiirooo.. Amiin Yaa Robbal Alamin “ .